A fool and his slingshot
by The Tower of WEIRDNESS-NESS
Summary: Sakuragi gets a slingshot from Haruko for his birthday... lets see what he does with it... CHAPTER 6 UP!!!! FINALLY!!! ^____^
1. how the stupidity all began...

1.1 Author's note: I was really bored doing this so gomen nasai if it sucks… -_-  
  
"A fool and his slingshot"  
  
All except Rukawa: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAKURAGI!!!  
  
Rukawa: *whispers* may you die the next day doaho.  
  
Haruko: *hands Sakuragi a gift* here. I hope you enjoy it… *blush*  
  
Sakuragi: (Haruko-san…) *blush* THANK YOU!!! *scratches head blushing with that stupid look on his face*  
  
Akagi: well, open it already!!  
  
Sakuragi: *rips it open* WOW!!! A SLINGSHOT!!! I've always wanted to have this!!! *tears start flowing down from is ecstatically blushing face* (Haruko-san… she loves me!!! I knew it!!!) *sniff… sniff…*  
  
*everyone stares at him funny*  
  
Akagi: here he goes again… lets all go home now… he's in his flipped state again.  
  
Sakuragi: * rubs Haruko's gift on his face* *whispers* Haruko-san…  
  
*everyone except Rukawa leaves*  
  
Rukawa: you know, you should use that all the time, or it will hurt Haruko's feelings.  
  
Sakuragi: you're right for once foxy face!! She gave this to me with love and affection!! I must use it forever!!! *rubs it again on his face while blushing*  
  
Rukawa: *thinks* doaho… *leaves the room*  
  
2 The next day…  
  
Sakuragi: *with a grin up to his ears* OHAYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Akagi: *falls back on his butt* AAH!!!?!?! WHERE'S THE FIRE???  
  
Sakuragi: *with the same grin runs up to Akagi* I CAN DO A REALLY COOL TRICK WITH MY SLINGSHOT!!!!! Wanna see wanna see wanna see????????????  
  
*pulls Akagi outside*  
  
Akagi: *sigh* what is it?!?!  
  
*outside is a large log with three cans on top of it*  
  
Sakuragi: watch this!! *aims* *shoots the log* HAHAHAHA!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?!?! I HIT THE LOG WITHOUT KNOCKING OVER A SINGLE CAN!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!  
  
Akagi: *sigh* …baka…  
  
Rukawa: *runs over Sakuragi with his bike* out of my way, doaho.  
  
Sakuragi: YOU STUPID FOXY FACE!!! *aims at Rukawa, missed, does it again and again and again, no progress…*  
  
Rukawa: you couldn't hit the ground if you threw a boulder at it…  
  
Sakuragi: OH YES I CAN!!! *picks up a huge colored rock and throws it down. Amazingly, it stays afloat in the air!!* grrrrr… Rukawa…  
  
*POP*  
  
(The tower: let me explain… the COLORED rock was a balloon from yesterday… hehehe…)  
  
Rukawa: doaho… *leaves*  
  
Sakuragi: YOU!!!!!  
  
Haruko: ohayo Sakuragi-kun!!  
  
Sakuragi: Ha…Haruko-san… *blush*  
  
Akagi: do you want to see Sakuragi's worthless trick?  
  
Haruko: what trick?  
  
Sakuragi: with the slingshot you gave me!! *points to slingshot*  
  
Haruko: ok, what is it?  
  
Sakuragi: *aims at log, hits a telephone pole. tries again, misses, again and again, still missed…* GRRR YOU STUPID SLING—uh… nothing  
  
Akagi: well, get to practice already!!!  
  
(The Tower: how was it??? I don't actually know how I came up with this but please R&R!! ^_____^;) 


	2. the HOLE house

Disclaimer: I DON'T own slam dunk… sorry just found out I had to write something like this now… gomen…  
  
"A fool and his slingshot"  
  
chapter two  
  
Akagi: Sakuragi's absent again?! What's wrong with him these days???  
  
Rukawa: maybe he died…  
  
Kogure: I passed by his house yesterday, it looked terrible!!  
  
Akagi: what was wrong with it?  
  
Kogure: well, it was full of little holes…  
  
Rukawa: maybe he was shot to death in his house…  
  
Akagi: hmmm… I told Haruko not to give him that darn thing…  
  
Haruko: *enters the gym* konnichi wa onichan!  
  
Akagi: Haruko, did you happen to see what Hanamichi's house looks like lately?  
  
Haruko: no… not recently… why??  
  
Akagi: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?!? I told you not to give him that stupid slingshot but nooo, you HAD to give it to him!  
  
Haruko: oh… I'm so sorry… im so careless…  
  
Rukawa: *thinks* (stupid is what you are…)  
  
Other players: what is wrong with Sakuragi????? He's resting too much!!!  
  
Rukawa: maybe he did die… *thinks* (I wish…)  
  
Akagi: we should check him out later…  
  
Later…  
  
Akagi: SHOHOKU!!! All members come with me!! We shall punish sakuragi for not coming to school for a week and for missing all the hard practice we've been doing!!!  
  
Members: HAI!!!  
  
*when they arrived at Sakuragi's house…*  
  
Sakuragi: *seated on the floor of the front porch (of his delightfully mutilated house) in the fetal position clutching the bag of metal balls and the slingshot singing his tensai song to himself* ore wa tensai, tensai Sakuragi… ore wa tensai, tensai Sakuragi…  
  
*All Shohoku members' jaws drop*  
  
Akagi: Sakuragi?!?! What have you done to your house?!?! It looks worse than a piece of rotten swiss cheese!!!  
  
Kogure: uhh… it got even worse than yesterday…  
  
Sakuragi: MY PERFORMANCE ART IS WONDERFUL!!!!! ORE WA TENSAI!!!!! *yells and waves at Akagi and the others*  
  
*Haruko goes forward a little bit*  
  
Akagi: *grabs Haruko* be careful… he's dangerous! Don't go near him!!  
  
*suddenly something hits Sakuragi squarely on the head*  
  
Kiyota (standing in a tree): *while tossing a piece of rubble in the air and catching it again* so, Sakuragi has finally flipped his lid… hehehe…  
  
*thug!! A slingshot bullet hits Kiyota right in the nose*  
  
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! ORE WA TENSAI!!!!! *puts his thumb up grinning proudly* I've gotten better!!! NYAHAHAHA!!! DID YOU SEE THAT HARUKO SAN???? *blush*  
  
Akagi: *hits Sakuragi on his head* THAT'S ALL YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE WHOLE WEEK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Sakuragi: itai… * rubs his head which now has a very large bump on it* yes but I'm an expert now!!!! ORE WA TENSAI!!!!  
  
Akagi: *hits Sakuragi on the head again* SHUT UP!!!!!! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE MISSED?!?!?! All that training and all those lessons!!!  
  
Kiyota: HANAMICHI!!!!!!! *Kiyota tries to get off the tree, misses a branch, slips and falls into a thorny bush* ITAIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(The Tower: hello again all!! Please tell me what you think of my so-called fic *have pity on my pleading soul…* I thank sinful ai and Yuuki for supporting me and for giving me the inspiration to keep on writing ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!! *tears start flowing from blushing face sniff… sniff…* oh well, so much for the drama… hehehe… anyways, hope you continue to read my fic… Arigato minna san ^___^) 


	3. no, this isnt a yaoi fic... at all. than...

Disclaimer: I don't own Slam Dunk *although I wish I did* Takehiko Inoue- sensei does…  
  
"A fool and his slingshot"  
  
Chapter three  
  
Mitsui: anyone know what happened to Kiyota yesterday?  
  
Miyagi: I hear he's in the hospital…  
  
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHA!!! DID YOU SEE WHAT MY TENSAI HIT DO TO HIM???? It made him go to the hospital!!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Rukawa: it was because he fell off the tree doaho.  
  
Sakuragi: TEME RUKAWA!!!!!!! I'LL CRUSH YOU!!!! *aims*  
  
*Haruko passes by*  
  
Haruko: ohayo, Sakuragi-kun! *smiles*  
  
Sakuragi: *drops slingshot… blushes… scratches head… picks slingshot up again* Ohayo Haruko-san!! *blushes with that stupid look on his face, as always*  
  
Haruko: I must be going now… I have to borrow a book from the library.  
  
Rukawa: *who's asking?!*  
  
Sakuragi: I'll come with you Haruko-san!!!  
  
Akagi: *hits Sakuragi on his head* NO YOU WONT!!! YOU WILL STAY HERE UNTIL SEVEN P.M.!!!! YOU WILL MAKE UP FOR ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE MISSED!!!!!  
  
Sakuragi: but Gori—  
  
Akagi: *hits Sakuragi again. Causing poor Hanamichi to have identical lumps on his head* NO BUTS!!! I WILL BE SUPERVISING YOU INSTEAD OF AYAKO!!! Now… WEAR YOUR UNIFORM!!!!  
  
Sakuragi: OK!!! OK!!! *drags his feet towards the locker room*  
  
Rukawa: doaho.  
  
Sakuragi: TEME RUKAWA!!! *Akagi hits Hanamichi on the head, yet again*  
  
Akagi: NO MORE OUTBURSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The Tower: ok… now he looks like a really wild gorilla… somebody get him some bananas to calm him down…)  
  
Sakuragi: *clutching his head with both hands in pain* …hai…  
  
Rukawa: …doaho…  
  
Sakuragi: *thinks hard with eyes tightly closed and with hands over ears* I cant hear you… I can't see you… *an image of Rukawa pops into his head*  
  
Image of Rukawa: *holds up a placard "doaho"*  
  
Sakuragi: *starts slapping himself silly* GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!!!! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!!!!! GET OUT OF MY—  
  
Akagi: HANAMICHI!!!!! WHAT IN THE NAME OF BAKSETBALL ARE YOU DOING?!?!  
  
*all the players stare at him*  
  
Sakuragi: … uh… hahaha… nothing  
  
Rukawa: doaho…  
  
*this time, (amazingly,) Sakuragi leaves him alone (The Tower: hmm… guess he didn't hear him…)*  
  
  
  
1 After the NORMAL members' practice…  
  
Mitsui: hey everyone, wanna go over to the hospital and taunt Nobunaga?  
  
Other members: SURE!!!  
  
*only Akagi, Hanamichi and Rukawa are left*  
  
Akagi: BASICS!!!!!  
  
Sakuragi: *groans*  
  
Rukawa: *sticks his tongue out* (obviously, trying to say "hey! Look who's stuck with Gori for the whole day!!")  
  
Sakuragi: *looks at Rukawa evilly… gets hit in the face by a basket ball*  
  
Akagi: CONCENTRATE!!!!!  
  
*Rukawa continues to distract and tease Hanamichi for the whole practice session. Which, of course gets Sakuragi in trouble with Gori.*  
  
  
  
2 In the hospital  
  
Mitsui: hey!! Why is there a cactus on Kiyota's bed???  
  
Members: *laugh*  
  
Kiyota: GRRRR!!!!! *cant move because of the pain of the thorns*  
  
Mitsui: OH!!! It's a growling cactus!!!! With long hair!!! I didn't know cactuses had hair!  
  
Members: *laugh (much harder)*  
  
Ayako: *hits all the members with her tessen* WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAKING NOISE IN A NO NOISE ZONE?!?!?!  
  
*members fall on their butts*  
  
Kogure: ahem… Ayako-san… you're the one making noise…  
  
*patients and all staff stare at Ayako*  
  
Ayako: *blushes* uh… gomen nasai…  
  
Miyagi: *with those sad, puppy dog eyes* Aya-chan, don't you love me anymore??? *sniff…sniff*  
  
Ayako: baka…  
  
(The Tower: will nobu-kun finally get all of those little thorns off him??? Will Hanamichi ever finish training with Gori—er Akagi?? Will Rukawa finally laugh at Sakuragi?? We shall see in the next chapter of: A fool and his slingshot!! Ok.. enough with the announcer-like speech… hope you liked this chapter though… I had a lot of fun doing it… well, that's it for this chapter… ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!!) 


	4. Kiyota's Admirer... (NOT YAOI!!) *note: ...

Disclaimer: The Tower does not own Slam Dunk. Takehiko Inoue-sama owns it. The only thing The Tower owns here is the terribly stupid plot.  
  
"A fool and his slingshot"  
  
Chapter four  
  
(The Tower: greetings… Sakuragi is in his seventh hour of practice since lunch and Rukawa is not half done teasing him.)  
  
Rukawa: doahooooooo…  
  
Sakuragi: SHUT UP KITSUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *flames start to form in his eyes*  
  
Akagi: *slams the ball into Sakuragi's face* (The Tower: wow… a new move! Will he use this instead of the old one from now on?)  
  
Sakuragi: *now with two huge Band-Aids in the form of an "X" where his nose used to be* ITAI!!!!!  
  
Akagi: *hits Sakuragi on the head (The Tower: uh… I spoke too soon…)* WHY DID YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE?!?!?!?! NEVER RAISE YOUR VOICE AT YOUR SUPERIOR!!!!!!! *glares at Sakuragi*  
  
*suddenly a crane nonchalantly flies by*  
  
Sakuragi: look!! A crane!! Isn't that the symbol of peace? (The Tower: how he knew that, I don't know…) that means, we shouldn't fight… ok???  
  
Akagi: hmmm… well, ok… I'll be a little gentler with you… (The Tower: wow…)  
  
*suddenly, the unexpected happened…*  
  
*splat… (The Tower: guess what it is.)*  
  
*Rukawa's eyes widen… slightly*  
  
*bird droppings suddenly lands on Akagi's face*  
  
Sakuragi: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR HITTING ME ALL THE TIME!!!!!!  
  
Akagi: *hits Sakuragi on the head a WHOLE lot of times, leaving Sakuragi's head smoking* …go home… your practice is done… leave already!! *reaches for a clean… erm… not so clean towel—full of Sakuragi's sweat, wipes it on his face… smells something weird… then realizes what it is…* SAKURAGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakuragi: *tries to balance his dizzy head and half stumbles-half runs to the locker room* NOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T KILL THE TENSAI!!!!!  
  
Rukawa: doaho… *leaves the gym*  
  
1 In the hospital…  
  
Mitsui: phew… Ayako is gone… lets taunt Nobunaga again!!  
  
Kiyota: grrrrr…  
  
Mitsui: Hello Mr. Porcupine!!! How are your quills doing lately?  
  
*all members laugh*  
  
Mitsui: how do you brush your long hair without getting hurt???  
  
*Kiyota's eyes begin to well up*  
  
Kiyota: *sniff… sniff… tries to hold back his tears (The Tower: I don't know why I'm so mean today…) starts to cry anyway…*  
  
Gorilla-like nurse: *hits all members on the head, much like Akagi.* visiting hours are over… unless you want to become patients here, I can arrange for that. *in a very scary voice…*  
  
Members: uh… hehehe… were going now… Bye bye Kiyota!! *they ran out of the building in a flash…*  
  
Kiyota: *blinks*  
  
Gorilla-like nurse: ooh… Kiyota-kun *squeezes Kiyota* did they hurt you??? (The Tower: oh no…)  
  
(The Tower: uh oh… poor Kiyota… I'm so mean to him today… and err… Sakuragi and uh… to the other members… and Akagi… thank you all again for reading my fic!! ^____^ ps… thank you to all the people that have been giving me reviews all the time also!!! ) 


	5. gomen... im back!! ^_____^

Disclaimer: Me no own Slam Dunk!!! (I'm running out of ways to say this!!)  
  
"A fool and his slingshot"  
  
Chapter five  
  
(The Tower: To all the… erm… Kiyota lovers, gomen nasai if I have or will offend you. ^___^)  
  
Kiyota: *sighs* finally, I'm relieved of those stupid thorns…  
  
Gorilla-like nurse: Nobunaga-kun!!! *comes running in* its time for your… SPONGE BATH!!!! (The Tower: ooh… ugh… a sponge bath from an erm… not-so- beautiful nurse… just imagine that for a sec… ouch!)  
  
Kiyota: NOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
(The Tower: ok… lets just leave them there…)  
  
1.1.1.1.1.1.1 At school…  
  
Sakuragi: *sings a terrible song* hmm.. hmm… hmm… just me and my wonderful slingshot… *blushes* Haruko-san… if only I could show you how much I appreciate your gift… HOW MUCH I LOVE Y---  
  
Haruko: did you call me, Sakuragi-kun?  
  
Sakuragi: *freezes in his tracks, blushes (The Tower: DUH?)* Haruko-san!! Ahehehe… no, it was nothing at all… hehe…  
  
Rukawa: it was something alright…  
  
Sakuragi: SHUT UP KITSUNE *aims… remembers that Haruko was there… stops…*  
  
Rukawa: doaho… *leaves for his class*  
  
Sakuragi: GRRRRR!!! *thinks* just you wait kitsune… just you wait…  
  
Akagi: WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOLLYGAGGING AROUND HERE?!?! SKIPPING CLASS????????  
  
Sakuragi: what are YOU doing then? *raises an eyebrow and grins smugly*  
  
Akagi: I, for one, was going to the comfort room.  
  
Sakuragi: yeah! I can still smell the bird poop from yesterday NYAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Akagi: *does the infamous fist-to-head move he always uses* YURUSAI!!!!!!!! GO TO YOUR CLASS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakuragi: *feels his pockets for the slingshot and goes into his classroom… when Akagi turned around he aimed and hit Akagi right on the butt!!!*  
  
Akagi: ITAI!!!! *looks around, scratches his head, rubs his butt (in pain, I guess…)*  
  
Sakuragi: *chuckles silently* nyahahaha…  
  
Akagi: *pretending not to notice, backs up a bit and enters Sakuragi's classroom* WHO THREW THIS?!?!?!?!?! SAKURAGI!!! Please step outside for a moment…  
  
In the hospital… (again?)  
  
Gorilla-like nurse: ooh, Kiyota-kun, why so shy???  
  
Kiyota: *whimper* (The Tower: hee hee…)  
  
Gorilla-like nurse: aww, come on. No need to be shy!!  
  
Doctor: ummm… nurse Matilda, mister Kiyota can go home now…  
  
Kiyota: *zooms out of the hospital* IM FREEEEE!!!!!!!!!! FREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
(The Tower: well, my brain is drained of ideas…not to mention I'm using the school computer… gotta go now… please give me more reviews so I might continue this…!!! ^____^) 


	6. Goodbye to ther horror that has plagued ...

Disclaimer: oh, you know.  
  
"A fool and his slingshot"  
  
Chapter six  
  
(The Tower: phew!! Finally!! I'm baaaaack!!! Sorry for the sudden leave people… my dog died and I also got grounded 'coz of low grades… now I am struggling to take care of my tamagochi…)  
  
1.1.1.1.1.1.1 In… ermmm, OUTSIDE the hospital…  
  
(A huge gorilla-like nurse named Matilda can be seen zooming around like a bolt of lightning…)  
  
Nurse Matilda: MY LOOOOOOOVVVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T GOOOOOOO!!!!! *grabs poor Kiyota by the ankles*  
  
*Kiyota falls flat on his face*  
  
Kiyota: LORD HAVE PITY ON ME!!!!! GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! *flails his arms around helplessly*  
  
Nurse Matilda: oh come on, I don't look that bad… do I? (The Tower: she has an enormous mole on her forehead and bits of facial hair… her face is ultra oily as well and she has a whole lot of lipstick applied on the wrong places. The makeup on her cheeks are sort of like Pikachu's [the pink circles] and her eyelashes are three times longer than an ordinary human's… she has curly blonde locks of hair like Goldilocks and she always walks on her toes… she is badly forced into a nurse's outfit and the hat is hardly visible due to the amazing forest that lies on her dandruff-bound head… get it??)  
  
Kiyota: I BEG OF YOU!!! LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! *successfully wriggles out of Matilda's grasp…*  
  
1.1.1.1.1.1.2 At school…  
  
Akagi: Nine thousand five hundred eighty nine! Nine thousand five hundred ninety!!! Come on!!! You need to make twenty thousand shots and you're not even halfway!!  
  
Sakuragi: dying… dying… I SAID I WAS SORRY!!! LIGHTEN UP!!!  
  
Akagi: STOP COMPLAINING AND WOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRKK!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakuragi: hmph… I'M TIRED!!  
  
*Haruko walks in from the gym door*  
  
Haruko: Ohayo onichan!!  
  
Akagi: you don't need to wait for Sakuragi or me to finish… Its gonna take the whole night…  
  
Sakuragi: *grumble grumble…*  
  
Haruko: are you sure onichan?  
  
Akagi: I'm perfectly sure…  
  
Haruko: ok… bye Sakuragi-kun bye onichan!  
  
*Haruko leaves*  
  
Sakuragi: bye…  
  
1.1.1.1.1.1.3 On the road outside the Hospital  
  
Nurse Matilda: WAIT MY KIYOTAAAAA!!!!!  
  
Kiyota: *gets into a taxi* GO DRIVER!!! GO AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO, JUST GOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Driver: please stop yelling into my ear… *steps on the gas and the taxi zooms away with the nurse latched onto the trunk with her bare hands…*  
  
Kiyota: CAN'T YOU LOSE HER?!?!?!?  
  
Driver: What did I say about yelling into my ear sir?  
  
Kiyota: I'm sorry… now PLEASE—I mean please… lose her…  
  
Driver: okiedokie… hold on mister… *left, right, left, right… the driver weaves in and out of the two lanes at maximum speed…*  
  
Nurse Matilda: I WILL COME AND GET YOU MY LOOOOOOOVE!!! *falls off the taxi and makes huge red skid marks with her gigantic lipstick-covered lips.*  
  
(The Tower: hmmm… not much of Sakuragi here eh? Don't worry… there will be more soon because… IT'S SUMMER!!! YAY!!! Although I have summer class… STUPID TEACHER!!! Oh well… he failed everyone… Are all the Kiyota lovers happy??? Well, just R&R to tell me! Bye bye!!! ^________^) 


End file.
